August 5, 2013


Where has it gone? Time.  Where has it gone? 

I remember my mum saying to me when I was a little girl “just wait until you’re older; time will fly!” boy she was right!  

I’ve been reminiscing a lot lately. It’s probably due to the fact that my 40th birthday is just over a week away. Thinking about mum and dad. Remembering family times and holidays, mushroom picking, climbing trees and running through the long grass with Rinty our mongrel mutt. Christmases, tragedies and triumphs, spending my summer holidays in Skegness with my nana.  Being dependant on someone not having so much responsibility; something you know nothing about as a child, but looking back on it kinda makes you realise how much was done for you that went unappreciated. 

I miss mum and dad. 

I married young and eventually divorced and have four sons as a result. The eldest being 21 still amazes me. I don’t feel much older than that myself; mentally anyway. My ‘baby’ being almost 12. Again, where has time gone?! 

Finding and marrying the love of my life and soul mate has to be one of the best experiences of my life.  I’m so lucky and thankful! Also for the family I’m now a part of; the family that treats me like their own without making me feel like the black sheep! I love them all. 

There are things that I would change in my past but as I see it, if I changed one thing in my past would I still be where I am today? Probably not. I have made lots of poor decisions but there’s nothing I can do about it so there is no point wasting time with regrets.  There is no point wasting time on feeling bitter or hatred either.

I've learned that it's best to just look forward and do the best you can to get where you want to be, and treat people the way you expect to be treated and things should be OK. We have our goals and I look forward to them every day, trying to stay focused on them during the bad days especially. I know we’ll get there eventually! 

Back to my looming birthday. I’ve never been one for having parties; I only recall one in my entire life when I was either 8 or 9. I don’t remember anything about it at all! Now this year is a milestone I guess and I have decided that I don’t want to let it slip by unnoticed. By unnoticed, I mean for me; not the whole world. I will not spend the whole day in the house doing chores and playing games on the laptop or even crocheting. I will in fact make a point of going out for the day, unsure of where yet, but out! I am also going to have dinner out at my favourite Chinese restaurant. We can’t do this often due to finances, but I made sure this year that that problem won’t get in the way. My birthday present is also going to be a little more extravagant than normal! I am treating myself to a little present too which I’ll have in a couple of days, you’ll have to watch this space if you want to know more.