Where has it
gone? Time. Where has it gone?
I remember
my mum saying to me when I was a little girl “just wait until you’re older;
time will fly!” boy she was right!
I’ve
been reminiscing a lot lately. It’s probably due to the fact that my 40th
birthday is just over a week away. Thinking
about mum and dad. Remembering family times and holidays, mushroom picking, climbing
trees and running through the long grass with Rinty our mongrel mutt.
Christmases, tragedies and triumphs, spending my summer holidays in Skegness
with my nana. Being dependant on someone
not having so much responsibility; something you know nothing about as a child,
but looking back on it kinda makes you realise how much was done for you that
went unappreciated.
I miss mum and
dad.
I married
young and eventually divorced and have four sons as a result. The eldest being
21 still amazes me. I don’t feel much older than that myself; mentally anyway.
My ‘baby’ being almost 12. Again, where has time gone?!
Finding and
marrying the love of my life and soul mate has to be one of the best
experiences of my life. I’m so lucky and
thankful! Also for the family I’m now a part of; the family that treats me like
their own without making me feel like the black sheep! I love them all.
There are
things that I would change in my past but as I see it, if I changed one thing
in my past would I still be where I am today? Probably not. I have made lots of
poor decisions but there’s nothing I can do about it so there is no point
wasting time with regrets. There is no
point wasting time on feeling bitter or hatred either.
I've learned that it's best to just look forward and do the
best you can to get where you want to be, and treat people the way you expect to
be treated and things should be OK. We have our goals and I look forward to
them every day, trying to stay focused on them during the bad days especially.
I know we’ll get there eventually!
Back to my
looming birthday. I’ve never been one for having parties; I only recall one in
my entire life when I was either 8 or 9. I don’t remember anything about it at
all! Now this year is a milestone I guess and I have decided that I don’t want
to let it slip by unnoticed. By unnoticed, I mean for me; not the whole world.
I will not spend the whole day in the house doing chores and playing games on
the laptop or even crocheting. I will in fact make a point of going out for the
day, unsure of where yet, but out! I am also going to have dinner out at my
favourite Chinese restaurant. We can’t do this often due to finances, but I
made sure this year that that problem won’t get in the way. My birthday present
is also going to be a little more extravagant than normal! I am treating myself
to a little present too which I’ll have in a couple of days, you’ll have to watch
this space if you want to know more.
